AITA for being getting mad at my mom after all she's done to me?

Ever since I was little, my mom never took my side. I'm an Indian, so it's pretty common for us to live with our paternal grandparents, more on this later.

My father died when I was 9. After that, whenever I made a mistake even something so trivial as spilling water on my bed or something more serious like getting a B on a test my mom would immediately say "your father died so he doesn't have to deal with this, I'll die too" i.e., she blamed me for my father's death.

My grandma was overprotective of me. I'm a guy, and girls I knew had at least 10x more freedom than I did. It was humiliating. My mom never spoke up despite my constant pleas. The same thing happened once to my mom, and she created a ruckus. I was always obese, and whenever I tried to lose weight my mother never accepted it. Later she blamed me for being fat and not exercising.

All this upbringing has led me to be socially awkward, extremely ill-tempered, and even gotten me depression and anxiety.

Now when I bring this stuff up to my mom and get mad at her, she simply says "It wasn't under my control, what could I do? I'm the DIL and I have to listen to them". She always defends herself no matter what. It makes me so mad and I fire at her constantly. I just can't help it. Remembering all those issues just boils my blood.

**TL;DR** Mom never supported me since I was a little kid. Blamed me for my father's death. Humiliated me in front of my mates. Now when I bring it up she defends herself in any way possible.